The not so Long Goodbye
by boidwriter
Summary: Takes place at the end of episode 11 of season 4:  "Back in Her Place".  Betty tries to cope with breaking up with Matt, Daniel is there to lean on.


Betty was sitting on the front step of the apartment building. She'd just finished a lengthy explanation to her landlord as to why she should not be held accountable for the months of back rent owed to him. She was a very responsible tenant, she'd explained…it was Marc and Amanda who had hung both of them out to dry: they'd sublet her apartment and then moved out without telling her, and most importantly…without paying the rent.

It turns out the landlord was a very reasonable man and he agreed to let her move back in. He also agreed to make arrangements for the back rent to be paid by raising Amanda's rent…not a bad arrangement at all, in Betty's opinion.

So now she was sitting on the stoop working up the energy to hobble back up to her currently vacant apartment to grab the purse and gloves she'd left inside, before heading back to Queens.

It had been quite a trying week. She'd undergone some torture at Wilhelmena's hands by testing out products in order to write reviews on them. The results of which were a seriously sprained ankle, a burning scalp with frizzed out hair, and hives. And, if that hadn't been bad enough - distressing and painful as it was - she topped it off tonight with something even more excruciating: she'd said good-bye to Matt. She mused at the turn of events that had taken place within the past week. Her life had been completely turned around within a matter of days.

When they had sat in the Mode cafeteria and he had told her – with a light in his eyes that she'd never seen before – about the village in Botswana, she had known there was something brewing within him. What she hadn't known, in that moment, was that he was about to tell her that he wanted to go to Africa…to be a part of changing people's lives. He wanted to stop worrying about himself and his needs and focus on the needs - the genuine, life sustaining needs – of others.

She had wanted to be proud of him but she couldn't. The only thing she had felt at that moment was a heart wrenching realization that the life she'd started picturing with him was slipping from her grasp. He'd questioned if anything really had to change between them. Betty had thought that to be a rather naïve understanding of the adventure he was about to embark on. He'd be leaving…for a long time. Surely, as much as they loved each other, they couldn't presume to maintain their relationship over such a distance for such an extended period. It wasn't anyone's fault…it was just the way it was.

After the initial shock of it wore off, she realized that, if she really loved him, she needed to let him find something he was truly passionate about. Keeping him here out of guilt or some kind of obligation to her would never satisfy either of them – eventually they'd end up resenting each other.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Betty?" It was Daniel, and he was obviously surprised to see her.

She looked up and saw him standing on the sidewalk.

"Oh…Hi Daniel. What are you doing here?" She asked him.

An awkward expression crossed his bearded face. "I…uh…well…" For some reason he didn't want to tell her he was here to see Amanda. Luckily he noticed the crutches leaning against the wall and the splint on her leg and it gave him an opportunity to change the subject. "What happened to you?"

As perceptive as Betty was, she didn't notice his tactic - she was too consumed by her own troubles.

"Oh…remember the shoes Wilhelmena made me wear the other day…the stilettos?" She asked him.

"Yeah…" He paused as he remembered of how unsteady she was on them – no further explanation was required. "Oh….Are you alright?" He asked.

"Yeah. I'll live." She answered - the image of her goodbye to Matt reappeared, fresh in her head, even though that's not what Daniel was referring to. _It's funny how a broken heart can hurt more than a physical injury sometimes. _

"What are you doing here? I thought you moved back to your dad's house." Daniel asked her.

"I did. It's a long story." She said. "I'll tell you about it sometime but right now I just want to get upstairs for a few minutes before I go home. Can you help me?" She was relieved to have some help and completely forgot that he hadn't answered her question about why he was there in the first place.

"Sure." He answered. She handed him her laptop bag while she grabbed her crutches.

"Does it hurt?" He asked her she hobbled through the lobby and started up the stairs.

"A little…It's nothing I can't handle." She replied with a weak smile.

He smiled back at her sympathetically and the concern on his face made Betty turn away quickly to stop the stinging of threatening tears that had started behind her eyes. He didn't even know about Matt; she was certain, if he did, she wouldn't be able to handle the look he gave her then.

They slowly made their way up the stairs and down the hall to Betty's apartment. Neither one of them said much on the way up. Betty's thoughts drifted back to her goodbye to Matt just a few hours ago.

It had been difficult…but then it's always hard to say good-bye…and some good-byes are more difficult than others. _Like when your boyfriend has to leave the state to go and raise his baby with his ex-girlfriend._ As far as good-byes go…this one wasn't the worst. Matt was taking the lead in his own life and he was going to experience things – maybe some great things. The better woman in her could say she was happy for him in that, at least. Surprisingly, she was ok…at least for the moment. Broken hearted, naturally, but not crushed.

She supposed there was always some kind of hope that one day they might be reunited… but deep down – on some level she barely knew existed – she believed this was more than an inconvenient sabbatical in their relationship…it was life taking them in two very different directions.

"Betty—" Daniel's voice interrupted her thoughts again as they walked down the hall toward her doorway.

She turned and looked up at him.

"I asked if you were ok? You're being really quiet." Daniel looked concerned.

The tears that threatened earlier returned, only this time they made an appearance pooling a little in her eyes. She quickly turned her face to focus on unlocking the door. Unfortunately, the blurred vision made it difficult to put the key in. She fumbled with it, trying to find the keyhole mostly by feel - her frustration growing. She didn't want to loose it here; she willed herself to hold it together until she was alone.

She muffled a frustrated grumble as she kept trying to get the key in. Daniel grabbed the hand holding the key.

"Here…let me…" He said, taking the key from her.

She sighed deeply, closing her eyes to stop the tears and leaning against the wall while Daniel unlocked the door.

"Thanks." She mumbled, hobbling through the door. She didn't look at him – she didn't want him to notice she was trying not to cry.

Her behaviour as they climbed the stairs and with the lock - very uncharacteristically Betty - made Daniel a little concerned. When she entered the apartment with such a muted, muffled thanks and wouldn't even look at him, he immediately knew something - bigger than her physical ailments - was bothering her.

He placed his hand on her arm, gently turning her and bent down a little to try and look her in the face. He noticed the tears.

"Betty…what's going on?" He asked gently.

"Nothing." She answered. "I'm just tired. It's been a long week and all this stuff with Wilhelmena…"

"Why are you lying?" He asked – his tone concerned, not accusing.

"I'm not." She lied again. "I'm—" She couldn't hold it in any longer. The tears that she'd been holding back for the past couple of hours erupted, filling her eyes to overflowing and spilling down her cheeks.

She hobbled over to one of the flimsy chairs she had in her apartment to sit down.

Two chairs, a card table and a light blanket were the only furniture in her vacant apartment. And the only reason they were there was because she'd used them to do interviews and take pictures when she and Matt had set up her blog the other day.

"Betty…" Daniel followed her into the apartment and closed the door.

"Daniel, I just want to be alone…ok?" She said softly through her tears.

He stopped walking and looked at her. He was torn; a part of him wanted to respect her wishes but the other part didn't want to leave her in this state. The latter part won the debate.

"Betty…I don't want to leave you knowing you're so upset. What's going on?" He asked again.

Betty sighed. She realized that this was probably a loosing battle. Daniel could be pretty persistent when he wanted to – and she could tell by the look of determination on his face that he wanted to tonight.

She couldn't answer right away though. It was like her mind wouldn't allow the words to actually cross her lips. She sat quietly trying to stop the tears for a minute. She could tell Daniel was growing increasingly impatient. He sat down in the other chair.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me." He threatened - but very gently, not in anger.

She took a deep breath and said so softly it was almost a whisper "Matt and I broke up…he's leaving…" She couldn't even finish the sentence.

This wasn't the first time she'd said it – she'd told Amanda earlier. But somehow this time – the way she said it - made it seem so final. She closed her eyes tight as if that might prevent the tears from coming. Naturally, it had no effect, and following the stream of tears was the biggest sob. She realized she'd opened the floodgates and it wasn't going to be easy to close them.

Daniel had a knot in the pit of his stomach - he hated stuff like this. He wasn't good with his own emotions let alone someone else's. And he'd rarely seen Betty cry. There was that episode once in the women's washroom - the one and only time Wilhelmena actually got to her. There was that fiasco with Henry, of course, and that one time with that musician who'd kissed Amanda. But other than those incidents he couldn't think of another time…until right now. It was very upsetting to watch his normally optimistic, perky friend break down.

He stood up and walked over to her chair to put his arm around her but the chair was so low and the angle so uncomfortable he had to stand up again. He found that frustrating. _What was the point him even being here…getting her all upset like this if he couldn't even comfort her?_

He grabbed the blanket off of the back of the chair and spread it on the floor.

"Come on." He indicated that she should sit on it.

Betty wiped her face with a tissue, discarded it on the table and then quickly grabbed another one. _Thank goodness she'd had the foresight to pick some up on the way back from saying goodbye._ She pulled herself together enough to form a sentence that she spoke in short quick phrases interspersed with tiny sobs. "Daniel…if I get down there...I'm never getting back up… My ankle…" She reminded him.

"I'll help you back up. But if you stay in that chair my back is going to give out from all the stooping."

She hobbled over onto the blanket and he helped her sit down.

He was about to sit down himself when Betty barked out "Kleenex…"and pointed to the box.

Grabbing the box off of the table, he handed it too her. He sat down beside her and they both leaned back against the blank wall. Betty closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

After sitting there for a second in silence, Daniel said "I'm really sorry."

She nodded looking up at him, and then she looked down at her hands that were fidgeting with a tissue…the tears welling up once more.

"Do you want me to punch him again?" He asked, only partially joking.

She managed a feeble smile. "You'd have to go to Africa…if I said yes." Her sobs were slowly dissipating.

"What?"

"He's leaving for Africa in the morning… There's a…thing…he needs to do." She wanted to explain but the tears and sobs were starting all over again. She felt so pathetic. She couldn't even manage an explanation without breaking down.

He put his arm around her and pulled her close as she wept. This was an interesting turn of the tables for Daniel – usually it was Betty helping him through all of his garbage. He was happy he was able to be here for her – to show her he valued their friendship as much as she did.

They sat in that embrace for several minutes as Betty wept and sobbed a little – neither one of them speaking much. After a while, a thought occurred to him.

"I have to do something." He said apologetically. "I'll be back soon…ok?"

"Oh…" Betty was startled for a second but then the realization settled in: of course, he probably had something on, it was Friday night. "You know what…I should probably head home anyway…" She started to say.

"No—" He was adamant. "I'll be back in a few minutes. We can talk then…I promise. Please Betty, don't leave."

He got up without even letting her answer and left the apartment hastily. He wanted to do this for her – for all the holes she'd dug him out of and all the pits of despair she'd jumped into to keep him company. She needed a shoulder and he wanted it to be his.

Betty felt foolish. Here she was, sitting on the floor of her abandoned apartment – she was certain she couldn't get up even if she'd wanted to – she'd lost it completely in front of Daniel and now she was forcing him to cancel his plans so she could be weepy and pathetic.

He took longer than a few minutes, so Betty was starting to wonder if he was coming back at all. She really didn't think she could get back up on her own and the panic was starting to set in because her phone was way over on the table, when she heard the doorknob turn. She felt a wave of relief at the sight of him…and then a little wave of gratitude and affection when she saw what he was carrying. He held a brown, grease stained bag that obviously contained an order of french fries.

She smiled up at him touched by his thoughtfulness.

"I'm free as a bird." He grinned at her. "and I've come bearing comfort carbs."

"Daniel…you didn't have to cancel your plans—"

"I wanted to." He was firm. He'd only made plans with Amanda at the last minute anyway, and he figured Betty probably needed a friend tonight more than he needed…whatever he and Amanda were doing lately.

He handed her the bag.

"Thanks." She managed a weak smile. "Oh...I don't have any forks." She realized.

"That's ok…they put some in." He said.

She opened the bag and pulled out the carton of fries.

"Chili cheese fries!" She said with a hint of the enthusiasm that Daniel recognized on a better day would have been followed with a delighted hand clap and a tiny squeal. She was obviously slightly cheered. She grinned at him a little feebly. "You are the best."

He smiled at her, warmed by her compliment and glad his offering was helping a little.

"Do you want some?" She offered the extra fork.

"No thanks. You need them more than I do." He sat back down on the blanket beside her.

She was feeling a little better. There was nothing quite like complex carbohydrates to pick you up when you're really low. And it was nice to have Daniel here after all. A part of her was glad this was how the evening turned out. It probably was better than crawling into bed and crying herself to sleep.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Daniel asked as she ate the fries – it seemed the natural question.

She swallowed and then answered. "Maybe in a few minutes. I'm just enjoying the fries for now."

He chuckled a little and they sat in silence until she was finished. When she was done, she placed the carton on the floor beside her and grabbed another tissue as if preparing herself for the inevitable breakdown that would follow. She started fiddling with the tissue, chewing her lower lip, and took a deep breath…she was calmer, more reflective than earlier, when she started to talk.

"I can't believe this happened. I thought maybe he was the one…you know? I thought maybe Matt was the guy for me." She paused for a minute deciding if she wanted to tell Daniel the next part. "A couple of weeks ago…I thought I was pregnant."

She looked up at him waiting for his reaction. Daniel didn't say anything – he was just letting her talk. But that didn't mean he wasn't shocked by her announcement. It's a good thing she hadn't asked him a direct question because he was certain he was rendered speechless. He managed to keep a fairly straight face, so she looked back down at her hands and continued talking.

"It turns out, I wasn't…but Matt was so great about it - he was excited. I was terrified and reacted really badly. At the time, all I could think of was how it wasn't part of the plan; of how I wasn't anywhere near being ready to have a baby." Daniel nodded, understanding. "But Matt was wonderful. He said it made everything fall into place for him." She was obviously holding back another episode of tears at that memory. "How could all of that change in just a couple of weeks?" She wasn't really asking, just tying to process it all.

"Matt's a—" He started to say and then stopped himself.

A large part of him felt like trashing Matt – like telling her what a flake he was, always changing his mind and flipping from one interest to another. He wanted to tell her that Matt was an idiot to leave her. He **really** wanted to tell her that the spoiled moron wasn't even close to being good enough for her – especially after the way he'd treated her when they broke up the first time. But he didn't. He knew that Betty, even at her lowest, was rarely the type to speak ill of people…even the Wilhelmenas of the world. She certainly would never say anything bad about Matt and would probably not appreciate hearing it just now.

"Matt's making a big mistake." He said instead.

Betty felt the need to defend Matt a little.

"He was inspired by my blog." She explained. "I wrote an article about "walking a mile in other people's shoes". I interviewed a woman who works for an agency that helps villages in Africa get clean drinking water by providing the funding and the wells. Matt was so inspired by it decided he needed to go and help." She started to cry a little again.

Daniel sighed and put his arm around her. Of course it was something noble and humanitarian. Poor Betty wouldn't even be allowed the benefit of being able to hate him for leaving.

She chuckled a little but Daniel could tell it was sarcastic.

"It's not lost on me that the blog I created to inspire people, inspired the man I love right out of my life." She broke down again weeping.

Daniel pulled her closer and rubbed the side of her arm to comfort her. He wished he knew what to say. He hated seeing her like this…it broke his heart.

After she'd composed herself from her latest bout of tears she continued talking.

"He said he'd stay…for me. But I need to let him go." She said. "You should have seen his face…the passion in his eyes. If I don't let him go he'll always wonder what could have been."

Daniel just nodded. He'd never felt the compelling need to abandon everything to follow some kind of passion or dream so he didn't completely understand Matt, but he did understand Betty – her love was so undoubtedly unselfish that she would never hold him back, despite the fact it might be killing her…that's just who she was.

Betty sighed deeply. "I know it's stupid…but I can't help wonder if it's always going to be this way." She didn't want to go there, but she couldn't help it – her emotional state was dragging her down the path of self pity.

"What do you mean?" Daniel asked – not understanding what she was talking about.

"I mean…I fall in love and things are going great and then, for some reason, he has to leave…he always has to leave."

Daniel knew she was referring to Henry leaving the state as well as Matt now leaving the country.

"Maybe I'll never find someone who's actually going to stick around." She added softly…dejectedly.

"Don't say that Betty." He turned a little to face her and said firmly…sincerely. "Listen to me…you will find someone, someday. And when you do…he'll think the sun rises and sets just because you are on the planet; and he won't ever dream of leaving because he won't be able to imagine his life without you in it. Just because Matt has to go find himself…or whatever…and Henry got his girlfriend pregnant – those things have nothing to do with you. You, Betty…are a terrific person. You've had some bad luck, that's all. That doesn't mean you're destined to be alone."

She leaned against him and he hugged her tighter. The sat quietly for a minute, then she sat up a little and looked up at him. "Thanks for staying Daniel." She said. "I thought I wanted to be alone, but now I'm really glad you're here."

"I'm glad I'm here too Betty." He smiled down at her.

She leaned against him again, feeling the soft material of his shirt against her cheek and the warmth of his arm around her shoulders. She felt so utterly spent from sobbing and weeping, and the crook of Daniel's arm was so comfortable, the scent of him so familiar, that she allowed herself to completely relax. They stayed in that position for several minutes until eventually her eyes slowly drooped and she fell asleep.

Daniel had been sitting there for a few minutes just holding her, waiting for her to continue talking if she wanted to. He heard her breathing, steady and deep, and he realized she'd fallen asleep. She needed to sleep after the day she'd had. He imagined he was going to be here for a while so he rested his cheek on the top of her head. A wave of fondness and affection swept over him; it was so acute it stunned him for a minute. He closed his eyes, savoring the intimacy he felt. He didn't intend to fall asleep as well but Marc's recent tactics as his assistant had him getting so much fresh air and exercise he couldn't help it.

A while later they were both awakened rather suddenly by Betty's phone. Daniel jumped up to grab it off of the table and gave it to her.

It was Hilda.

"Hi Hilda." Betty answered, trying desperately to sound awake and alert.

"Betty? Where the hell are you? We've been worried sick."

Betty looked at the clock - it was eleven thirty…it wasn't even that late for a Friday night.

"I'm at my apartment." She answered.

"At your apartment? You mean Marc and Amanda's?" Hilda was confused as to why she was referring to it as "her apartment".

"They don't live here anymore…they moved across the hall. It's a long story, Hilda. One I don't feel like getting into right now." Betty hadn't told her family about Marc and Amanda. It was her problem and she didn't want them to worry.

"Well, what are you doing there? I thought Matt was leaving…"

"He did." Betty interrupted her. "I'm just hanging out here for a while. I'm alright Hilda. Please don't worry about me." She realized moving back into her apartment was the right decision. She was a grown woman and she felt like she was being treated like a child.

"We were just concerned…'cause Matt was leaving and we didn't hear from you…you know?" Hilda said - her tone had softened a little.

"Yeah." Betty sighed, feeling slightly guilty about her last thought. They weren't treating her like a child they were treating her like an abandoned, heartbroken woman…of course they were concerned.

"Are you alone? Maybe you should come home." Hilda suggested.

"I'm not alone." She replied.

"Oh…are you with Amanda?" Hilda asked.

"No." Betty paused. She wasn't sure if her family would think it was strange if she was with Daniel or not. "Actually, Daniel's here."

"Oh." Hilda was silent for a minute. "Well are you coming home soon?"

"You know what? I think I'm going to stay here tonight." Betty said.

"But that's crazy…you don't even have a bed there." Hilda argued.

"It's ok Hilda. I'll figure something out. It's just that it's getting late and I think it's easier if I stay in the city tonight."

Hilda must have been somewhat satisfied that Daniel was with her…that he'd somehow take care of her…because she didn't pursue it. "Well…ok. If that's what you think." Her tone indicated she thought Betty was nuts.

"I'll see to you tomorrow, ok." They said good-bye and Betty hung up.

Daniel looked at her funny.

"What?" She asked him.

He shook his head "Well I don't know if you were lying to your sister…or what…but you know you can't stay here." He looked around at the empty apartment.

"I know." She admitted. "I'm going to go home but if I tell them that, they'll wait up for me and bombard me with questions the minute I come in the door. I can't handle that tonight. It's better if they think I'm not coming and then I sneak in after they've gone to bed."

"Sneaking in late at night…I remember those days."

"I know…I feel like a child living there sometimes." Betty admitted.

"It's just because they care so much. That's a good thing." Daniel reminded her.

"I know." She looked down at her hands again; she was slightly ashamed that she was complaining she had a family that cared so much.

"Hey…you could stay at my place." Daniel offered. "I'll sleep on the couch." He wasn't finished wanting to help.

She paused for a minute, serious considering it, but then she smiled and said "Thanks for the offer but I think I should head home tonight. I have to face their questions and sympathy sometime…besides I'm really going to need Hilda's help to fix this Medusa hair."

"Sure." He understood. He felt a twinge of disappointment but didn't really know why. He decided to ignore it. "I'll call a town car and take you home." He reached for his phone.

Betty placed her hand on his arm to stop him and then she said hesitantly…almost a little shy. "Uh...is it alright if we just stay here for a little while longer?" She hoped he didn't misunderstand "…to make sure they're asleep when I get there?"

He smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulder as his answer. Betty leaned on him again. She sighed, mostly from exhausted sorrow and yet oddly…a tiny bit from contentment. She chose not to examine the reason for that paradox too closely – it had been a trying day…it was probably just because her head was a confused mess of emotions.


End file.
